coming out

Dr. Hannah Roberts · May 9, 2024 ·

Starting Therapy – How to Prepare

Learning to Thrive: A How-To Guide for Therapy

by Gavin Hannegan, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts

Hello Thrivers! Welcome to the first installment of a three-part series called, “Learning to Thrive: A How-To Guide for Therapy.” This series will help you understand what to expect as you are starting therapy and continue through the end of your therapy journey. Over the past few months, we’ve explored how therapy can be an effective self-care tool no matter what your needs are. Now, let’s put those discussions into context.

Even if you feel ready, starting therapy can still feel daunting, especially for the first time. If you’re asking yourself, “Where do I even start?”, this guide is for you! Our goal is to alleviate any uncertainties you may have about the initial contact with your chosen therapist. Here are a few recommendations to help make this process feel comfortable and accessible.

Set Aside a Weekly Time for Therapy

It’s helpful if you have an idea of when you would be willing and able to meet with a therapist. Therapy sessions tend to last about 50 minutes, but you may need to factor in additional amounts of time for commuting to and from the therapist’s office, for example. Additionally, to be fully present, give yourself a few minutes before and after the session to center yourself, identify your goals for the session, and reflect on what was discussed. Your sessions should be a consistent part of your schedule, but it shouldn’t become a burden. Unfortunately, a perceived lack of time tends to be one of the largest barriers for mental health treatment among college students, especially those from ethnic or racial minority backgrounds (Miranda et al., 2015). The good news is that the format of therapy can be flexible to meet your needs. You can meet with your therapist virtually, meet with an on-campus professional, or schedule a nature therapy appointment to combine therapy with movement outdoors. Weekend sessions are also an option if you have a full workload during the week. An agreed time between you and your therapist is one of the first steps in starting therapy and crafting the therapeutic relationship.

Select a Therapist That You Will Feel Comfortable Working With

Therapy is a space that allows you to be vulnerable and open about yourself, so it is important that you find someone who is capable of holding space for you. Your therapist does not have to come from the same background as you, but they should have the experience necessary to make you feel affirmed, heard, and supported. One way to gauge if a therapist is right for you is to read their bios. Click the “Meet Us” section to learn more about the team behind Thrive. Psychology Today is a great resource for finding therapists in SLO county, virtually in California, and all across the country. These bios will contain the therapist’s specializations (eating disorders, LGBTQ+ care, etc.), the format of their sessions (in-person or virtual), the cost of each session and how to pay for it, and their contact information. Feel free to reach out to a therapist if you have specific questions about their style and practices. And don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself as you’re starting therapy. Therapy clients see the greatest improvements in their mental health when both the therapist and the client believe in the strength of their relationship (Zilcha-Mano et al., 2017). Choose a therapist that you would be comfortable working with in order to build this strong relationship.

Consider How You Might Pay for Your Sessions

A common challenge in starting therapy is concerns about the cost (Miranda et al., 2015). In a study of over 12,000 adults with a mental illness, over 70% cited financial concerns for their lack of treatment, particularly among those with no health insurance (Walker et al., 2015). In SLO, the cost of a session usually ranges from $150-$250, which is what you can expect with your Thrive therapist as well. While money can be a sensitive subject, remember that therapy can accommodate your needs. Attending therapy sessions from home can reduce transportation costs. When reading the bios of different therapists, identify a price range that would fit well within your budget. Psychology Today lists the different payment methods that therapists accept, such as credit cards, Venmo, and cash. Each bio also lists which insurance each therapist can take. Some therapists may offer a sliding scale depending on your income. Remember, if you have a PPO insurance, you may be able to get some reimbursement for your sessions. And finally, colleges and universities may offer free or reduced-cost therapy sessions with on-campus treatment centers – Cal Poly’s Graduate Students offer low-cost services for all (you do NOT need to be a student) at the SLO Counseling Service at Cal Poly. There are a variety of options to help you afford your therapy sessions. Build your therapy into your budget so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.

Remind Yourself That You’re Deserving of This Care

The stigma against mental health is rampant and pervasive. When we start to internalize these messages, we become less likely to seek help for ourselves (Schnyder et al., 2017). Instead of listening to problematic messaging in society, surround yourself with uplifting voices. Think about the goals you hope to achieve through therapy and let that motivate you. Practice some daily affirmations such as, “I am worthy,” “I feel inspired,” or “I want to grow.” Share your concerns with a friend who would be happy to support you in this journey. Be open about these insecurities with your therapist so that you two can identify and work towards a solution. It may take time to build your self-worth, but that’s part of what therapy is for!

Feeling ready for starting therapy? Next week, we will identify what this initial session may look like, and discuss strategies to help you adjust to this new environment. We’re so excited to see where therapy takes you!

Have more questions or feel ready to start therapy in California today? Schedule a session with one of our therapists! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post.

References

Miranda, R., Soffer, A., Polanco-Roman, L., Wheeler, A., & Moore, A. (2015). Mental health treatment barriers among racial/ethnic minority versus white young adults 6 months after intake at a college counseling center. Journal of American College Health, 63(5), 291-298. https://doi.org/10.1080/07448481.2015.1015024

Schnyder, N., Panczak, R., Groth, N., & Schultze-Lutter, F. (2017). Association between mental health-related stigma and active help-seeking: systematic review and meta-analysis. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 210(4), 261-268. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.116.189464

Walker, E. R., Cummings, J. R., Hockenberry, J. M., & Druss, B. G. (2015). Insurance status, use of mental health care in the United States. Psychiatric Services, 66(6), 578-584. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.201400248

Zilcha-Mano, S., Snyder, J., & Silberschatz, G. (2017). The effect of congruence in patient and therapist alliance on patient’s symptomatic levels. Psychotherapy Research, 27(3), 371-380. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2015.1126682

Dr. Hannah Roberts · March 28, 2024 ·

Why Therapy Is Important for College Students

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.

When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”

~Fred Rogers

by Gavin Hannegan, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts

College life is exhilarating! You’re able to explore your passions and fine-tune what you want your career to look like. It’s a chance for new connections, new experiences, and newfound freedom. Sometimes, all of these new opportunities can feel overwhelming. They may create struggles or exacerbate those that were already present. Juggling everything that college life has to offer can be challenging, but you can always ask for help when you need it! Therapy can be a great resource to help you navigate this chapter of your life. For those who might be unfamiliar with therapy for college students, we wanted to address a few common concerns about therapy to help you feel more comfortable.

Why Would I Need Therapy?

The responsibilities of a college student can feel demanding. On top of academic obligations, you also may have to adjust to living away from home and paying for your own needs. Each of these factors have been linked to increases in depression, anxiety, and stress among college students. Certain types of college students are more likely to experience these increases, such as juniors who are not provided with as much school-based support as first-years or seniors (Beiter et al., 2015). Current students also had to transition from high school to college during the COVID-19 pandemic, a time period that substantially worsened students’ mental health concerns (Lee et al., 2021). Having such high levels of stress or anxiety can impair your ability to fulfill your duties as a college student. One study found that students with ongoing mental health problems saw a decrease in their GPA compared to those without these problems (Bruffaerts et al., 2018). When left untreated, mental health concerns can amplify the already stressful roles that college students have to fulfill. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage these responsibilities, while also offering self-care strategies to address the stress in life. For those of you who feel like they don’t need therapy yet, consider that therapy can also be a way to help you prepare against future stressful events.

Does therapy really work?

Yes, but it depends on the type of therapy you’re participating in and the strength of your relationship with your therapist. When thinking about scheduling an appointment with a new therapist, it is important to make sure that their practices are evidence-based. Examples of evidence-based therapy for college students at Thrive San Luis Obispo include:

Interpersonal Therapy
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Gestalt Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Mindfulness-Based Interventions
Behavioral Activation

Therapies that are supported through research tend to be more reliable than other types of clinical treatment. When participating in these treatments, many college students experience at least moderate reductions in symptoms of trauma, depression, or anxiety (Huang et al., 2018; McIndoo et al., 2016). Each of the Thrive SLO Therapists gives you a sense of the types of treatment they use on their profile in the Meet Us section. You can also email or talk to a therapist directly if you’re still unsure.

Successful therapy also requires active participation from both you and the therapist. This means that a therapist won’t necessarily tell you what to do, but will rather work with you to develop strategies that best fit your individual needs and level of comfort. Forming this relationship may take some time, and your ideal relationship may not be with the first therapist you meet with. Once this relationship is established, your therapist can help you feel satisfied with your treatment (McIndoo et al., 2016). Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?”, therapy often helps you answer the question of “How can I become my best self?”

I’m Nervous About Starting Therapy

That’s okay! You are not alone in your feelings. If you have some reservations about seeing a therapist, it could be helpful to reflect on where these feelings are coming from. Globally, college students underutilize forms of mental health treatment, with one study reporting that nearly 75% of college students would not use these resources even if they were experiencing clinical symptoms of depression or anxiety. Some of the most common reasons for not wanting to go to therapy include the desire to fix problems on one’s own and feeling embarrassed about therapy (Ebert et al., 2019). The stigma surrounding therapy for college students can feel intimidating, but know that you are still deserving of this care. You can address these feelings in the following ways:

Take a screening test to more accurately identify the next steps towards treatment.
Feel free to keep your relationship with therapy private for as long as you need.
Be honest with your therapist about your fears regarding therapy.

Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel at first. Know that your therapist is here to help you, and here at Thrive SLO, we specialize in working with college students. All of our therapists they have worked with hundreds of other college students who have experienced similar concerns. These nerves are healthy. Even considering therapy shows that you care about your well-being. Therapy doesn’t define your college experience; it helps you enjoy it.

Have more questions or feel like you need supportive therapy as a college or university student? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

References

Beiter, R., Nash, R., McCrady, M., Rhoades, D., Linscomb, M., Clarahan, M., & Sammut, S. (2015). The prevalence and correlates of depression, anxiety, and stress in a sample of college students. Journal of Affective Disorders, 173, 90-96. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2014.10.054

Bruffaerts, R., Mortier, P., Kiekens, G., Auerback, R. P., Cuijpers, P., Demyttenaere, K., Green, J. G., Nock, M. K., & Kessler, R. C. (2018). Mental health problems in college freshmen: Prevalence and academic functioning. Journal of Affective Disorders, 225, 97-103. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2017.07.044

Ebert, D. D., Mortier, P., Kaehlke, F., Bruffaerts, R., Baumeister, H., Auerback, R. P., Alonso, J., Vilagut, G., Martínez, K. U., Lochner, C., Cuijpers, P., Kuechler, A. M., Green, J., Hasking, P., Lapsley, C., Sampson, N. A., & Kessler, R. C. (2019). Barriers of mental health treatment utilization among first-year college students: First cross-national results from the WHO World Mental Health International College Student Initiative. International Journal of Methods in Psychiatric Research, 28(2), 1-14. https://doi.org/10.1002/mpr.1782

Huang, J., Nigatu, Y. T., Smail-Crevier, R., Zhang, X., & Wang, J. (2018). Interventions for common mental health problems among university and college students: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 107, 1-10. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2018.09.018

Lee, J., Jeong, H. J., & Kim, S. (2021). Stress, anxiety, and depression among undergraduate students during the COVID-19 pandemic and their use of mental health services. Innovative Higher Education, 46, 519-538. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10755-021-09552-y

McIndoo, C. C., File, A. A., Preddy, T., Clark, C. G., Hopko, D. R. (2016). Mindfulness-based therapy and behavioral activation: A randomized controlled trial with depressed college students. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 77, 118-128. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2015.12.012

Dr. Hannah Roberts · March 1, 2024 ·

Queer-Affirming Therapy:

Finding a Safe Space

“It is absolutely imperative that every human being’s

freedom and human rights are respected,

all over the world.”

– Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir

by Gavin Hannegan, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts

Therapy can be an incredibly rewarding experience, so it is important to find a therapist that you would feel comfortable with. For LGBTQ+ folk, it is even more important to find queer-affirming therapy. The therapist-client relationship can offer a safe space for you to be able to freely express yourself without judgment. The process of finding queer-affirming therapy can feel overwhelming. Some therapists explicitly state that they welcome people of all backgrounds, but other times, the cues can be a bit harder to read.

Here, I will be offering a few signs to look out for to help you determine if you would feel affirmed by your therapist. As you read, keep in mind that the process of building that trust with your therapist may take time. You might also respond differently to different therapists. There is no rush to feel comfortable right away!

Your Therapist Is Open to Learn

A common misconception is that an LGBTQ-affirming therapist has to also identify as LGBTQ, but there are plenty of straight or cisgendered therapists who can empathize with your experiences. One theme that emerged in interviews with SLO County residents who attended therapy is that positive experiences with therapists occurred when the therapist were willing to learn more about LGBTQ identities, regardless of if the therapist identified as LGBTQ or not (Bettergarcia et al., 2021). A therapist might ask you some questions about your identity to better understand your perspective. It is also okay for you to educate your therapist when the opportunity arises. Here are some examples:

“I actually go by this name, and I use these pronouns.”
“No, I haven’t really felt that way. I feel more like this…”
“That term is a little outdated, it’s more appropriate to say this…”

You are well within your right to correct your therapist and explain how that made you feel. However, it is not your job to teach your therapist everything about how to effectively work with the LGBTQ+ population; the therapist may need to do some homework and develop their knowledge outside of the session.

Your Therapist Actively Validates Your Identities

An active effort on the part of the therapist is key. In their research, Anzani et al. (2019)

distinguish between passive forms of affirmation towards trans people (i.e., not using microaggressions) and active forms of affirmation (i.e., encouraging gender exploration). While both forms can be helpful, Anzani et al. (2019) recommend that therapists strive to be actively affirming in order to help their clients navigate the cisnormativity that exists within society. Active validation looks like:

Your therapist connecting you to local groups and resources
Your therapist using the correct name and pronouns before, during, and after transitioning
Your therapist treating your identities as normal and authentic

In other words, an affirming therapist should do more than the bare minimum. When meeting with your therapist, you can ask them directly how they will actively validate your LGBTQ+ identities. If this feels too forward, you can also take note of how your therapist responds to LGBTQ+ issues. Do they simply acknowledge homophobia or transphobia or do they work with you to develop tactics to combat these prejudices?

Your Therapist Treats You As An Individual, Rather Than a Representative of Your Identity

The ways in which you experience your identities might not be the same ways that other queer folk experience their identities. If a therapist generalizes these experiences as representative of the broad LGBTQ+ community (i.e., “All gay people experience…”), then they might be missing some important details. For starters, the label of LGBTQ+ encompasses many different identities. In one survey, mental health clinicians reported that even though they might be affirming of lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients equally, they actually perceive themselves to be more competent when treating lesbian and gay clients compared to bisexual clients (Ebersole et al., 2018). Each of these distinct identities can bring unique experiences–on top of the unique experiences that each individual already has! Again, you are more than welcome to correct your therapist if they make a generalization, but don’t feel responsible for teaching your therapist about the diversity of LGBTQ+ identities. You might also encourage your therapist to adopt a multicultural approach and to consider the interplay of multiple identities. Keefe et al. (2023) found that racial and ethnic minorities who also identified as LGBQ responded best to mental health programs that emphasized the minority stress model, compared to those that did not implement this model. In other words, racial and ethnic minorities may be subject to discrimination based on race and discrimination based on LGBTQ+ status, so your therapist should account for each of these influences.

One last note: your reasons for attending therapy might not even be related to your gender or sexual identity. While affirming therapists should not outright ignore your identities, it may not be necessary for your therapist to always attribute certain topics to your gender identity or sexual orientation. These identities are just a few aspects of who you are. Remember that this is your journey, and you deserve to feel respected and affirmed in the ways that feel most comfortable to you.

Feel like you want your therapist to have more information? Here’s a blog post that features the same tips, but directed specifically towards those in the helping profession.

Have more questions or feel like you need queer-affirming therapy? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

References

Anzani, A., Morris, E. R., & Galupo, P. (2019). From absence of microaggressions to seeing authentic gender: Transgender clients’ experiences with microaffirmations in therapy. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 13(4), 258-275. https://doi.org/10.1080/15538605.2019.1662359

Bettergarcia, J., Wedell, E., Shrewsbury, A. M., & Thomson, B. R. (2021). “There’s a stopgap in the conversation”: LGBTQ+ mental health care and community connection in a semi-rural county. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, 26(1), 48-75. https://doi.org/10.1080/19359705.2021.1900973

Ebersole, R. C., Dillon, F. R., & Eklund, A. C. (2018). Mental health clinicians’ perceived competence for affirmative practice with bisexual clients in comparison to lesbian and gay clients. Journal of Bisexuality, 18(2), 127-144. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2018.1428711

Keefe, J. R., Rodriguez-Seijas, C., Jackson, S. D., Bränström R., Harkness, A., Safren, S. A., Hatzenbuehler, M. L., & Pachankis, J. E. (2023). Moderators of LGBQ-affirmative cognitive behavioral therapy: ESTEEM is especially effective among Black and Latino sexual minority men. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 91(3), 150-164. https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000799

Dr. Hannah Roberts · February 15, 2024 ·

Hello Thrivers!

This month, you’ll be hearing more from us as we are introducing a new blog!

Our intern, Gavin Hannegan is an undergraduate student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts. He’ll be sharing some weekly blog posts that we think you might find helpful regarding queer identities (LGBTQIA+) and queer-affirming therapy, which is a special passion for us here at Thrive SLO. We’re so glad to have you join us for this conversation!

Support Your Trans Child: Best Practices

“I can’t begin to express how remarkable it feels

to finally love who I am enough

to pursue my authentic self.”

-Elliot Page, actor

Coming out as trans is not an easy thing to do. For many transgender children, they have been planning to tell their parents for months, years, or even decades. If they come out to you, that means that your child trusts you with personal information. They want to share with you their true, authentic self. Knowing that you want to support your child is an important first step, but how best to do that? With all of the prejudice against LGBTQ+ people occurring around the world, can your support make a difference? Yes it can!

Here are 5 practices to help you best support your trans child.

#1: It’s Okay to Give Yourself Time to Process

It is totally normal to feel unsure or confused about your child’s trans identity. That does not make you a bad parent! One strategy that other parents of trans children have found helpful is to allow yourself some grace as you adjust what you may have expected your child’s life to be like (Sansfaçon et al., 2019). Through this reflection, you can better attend to the needs of your child. It is also okay to be honest with your child and let them know how you are feeling, but don’t let your grief dominate your relationship. Tell them that you are supportive but that you need time to process. Chances are that your child also needed some time to come to terms with their identity.

#2: Find a Support Group with Other Parents of Trans Children

There are plenty of other parents who have gone through similar situations. Reach out to any parents in your community with trans children and ask for their advice. These parents can validate your feelings and direct you to resources to help support your trans child, including where to access gender-affirming medical care. Or, if you don’t know anyone with a trans child, join a support group online. Support groups have been found to improve parents’ understanding of their child’s gender identity, strengthen the relationship between parent and child, and foster a sense of empowerment (Dangaltcheva et al., 2021). Building connections with trans allies is an especially important tool for combating systemic prejudice.

#3: Engage in Open Conversations With the LGBTQ+ Community

These conversations can seem intimidating, but they are important to have. Enter these conversations with a desire to learn and a willingness to change your perspectives, if needed. You can watch videos made by trans individuals on platforms such as YouTube or TikTok. You should also give your child a safe space to talk more about their experiences as a trans individual. It’s possible that you may say the wrong thing or not know how to respond–and that’s okay! The goal here is to support your trans child by letting them feel heard.

#4: Help Your Child Seek Out Gender-Affirming Medical Care

While not essential for everyone, many trans children seek out medical care (when age and developmentally appropriate) to help them physically transition into their experienced gender identity. This can include, but not limited to, hormone therapy, top surgery, or speech therapy. With parental support, trans and gender non-conforming youth report feeling more confident accessing and utilizing gender-affirming medical care (Pflugeisen et al., 2023). Your child should determine what type of care they need, although be sure to have you and your child consult with a medical professional throughout the process. Your support can include financial resources, researching gender-affirming medical practitioners, or accompanying your child to appointments.

#5: Love Your Child for Who They Are!

The most important resource you can provide for your trans child is love. Their trans identity is just one part of who they are. The core human being that you’ve loved for all of their life has not changed. By continuing to accept and love your child, the relationship between you two may become even stronger (Sansfaçon et al., 2015). Also, remember that this is your child’s journey, not yours. Don’t let your anxieties keep you from showing your child the respect and appreciation that they deserve. Even if the process towards acceptance is longer than you would think, the hard work that both of you put into this relationship will pay off.

Have more questions or feel like you need more support in life? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

Dr. Hannah Roberts · February 8, 2024 ·

Hello Thrivers!

This month, you’ll be hearing more from us as we are introducing a new blog!

Our intern, Gavin Hannegan is an undergraduate student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts. He’ll be sharing some weekly blog posts we think you might find helpful regarding queer identities (LGBTQIA+) and queer-affirming therapy, which is a special passion for us here at Thrive SLO. We’re so glad to have you join us for this conversation!

A Brief Guide to Coming Out

“We are not what other people say we are.

We are who we know ourselves to be, and we are what we love.

That’s okay.”

— Laverne Cox

One of many milestones for members of the LGBTQ+ community is coming out. Because we live in a world that assumes everyone is straight and cisgender, disclosing your queer or trans identity to others is an expected component to your identity development. While this process may be intimidating, coming out can also be relieving and empowering. Before anything else, be proud that you have reached a point where you are feeling ready to share your true identity with others.

Even if you’re ready to come out, you may be asking, “How do I come out?” Everyone experiences their identities in different ways, so there may not be a one-size-fits-all approach. However, here are 4 important factors to consider when deciding to come out.

#1: Consider the Context

It may be necessary to consider the who, where, and when of the coming out process. Unfortunately, some individuals may be less receptive to LGBTQ+ identities due to cultural, religious, or other personal reasons (Tamagawa 2017). Some countries even criminalize LGBTQ+ status. Although the U.S. is moving towards a greater acceptance of LGBTQ+ folk, younger cohorts of queer people are just as likely as older cohorts to have their identities invalidated by their parents (van Bergen et al., 2021). Even more concerning, the threat of violence affects how freely trans individuals express their identity (Brumbaugh-Johnson & Hull, 2018). While you deserve to present yourself authentically, recognize that your personal safety is also important. This is especially imperative for queer and trans youth under the age of 18.

#2: There Are Many Different Ways to Come Out

You can choose to sit down with a close friend or family member when you are coming out and come out to them in private. You can also leave a note or send a text if you want to avoid seeing others’ initial reactions. Coming out can be as grand as a PowerPoint presentation or as simple as a matter-of-fact statement. You can even come out indirectly through a meme or a video made by someone else. The “right” way to come out depends on what you are most comfortable with. Additionally, what you disclose is entirely up to you. If you need inspiration, check out the variety of coming out videos posted on YouTube. Many of these videos do a great job of framing coming out not simply as an announcement, but as the culmination of a personal journey towards self-love (Lovelock 2019).

#3: You Will Likely Have to Come Out More Than Once

Coming out is an ongoing process. In addition to friends and family, you might also have to come out to your boss, coworkers, medical care providers, and other people that you encounter regularly. For those who are disclosing their sexuality, the coming out process is much simpler, and can often amount to you referring to the name of your romantic partner, for example. However, there may be additional steps for those who are disclosing their gender identity. This may include asking others to refer to you using your preferred name and pronouns or updating your medical records. Trans individuals may even have to come out twice to the same person if they previously came out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.

#4: You Are Not Alone

There are millions of LGBTQ+ individuals who have experienced the same concerns, fears, or excitement that coming out brings. There are also millions of straight and cisgender allies who are eager to support you in this process. Ask for help when you need it! Strong social networks, whether in your local community or online, can share advice, congratulate you each time you come out, and connect you to affirming organizations. You can also ask others to be in the room with you as you come out, or you can even ask others to come out for you. People that love you for who you are will allow you to love yourself for who you are. And remember that there is no rush to come out. Take as much time as you need to feel comfortable, safe, and proud.

Feel like you need more support in life? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

References

Brumbaugh-Johnson, S. M. & Hull, K. E. (2018). Coming out as transgender: Navigating the social implications of a transgender identity. Journal of Homosexuality, 66(8), 1148-1177. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2018.1493253.

Lovelock, M. (2019). “My coming out story”: Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth identities on YouTube. International Journal of Cultural Studies, 22(1), 70-85. https://doi.org/10.1177/1367877917720237.

Tamagawa, M. (2017). Coming out to parents in Japan: A sociocultural analysis of lived experiences. Sexuality & Culture, 22, 497-520. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-017-9481-3.

van Bergen, D. D., Wilson, B. D. M., Russell, S. T., Gordon, A. G., & Rothblum, E. D. (2021). Parental responses to coming out by lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or two-spirited people across three age cohorts. Journal of Marriage and Family, 83(4), 1116-1133. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12731.