LGBTQ Affirming

Sarah Park · December 2, 2024 ·

November 6, 2024, it’s 5am, I had been sleeping but something tells me to check my phone for the official election results. It is as I feared, Trump won. Suspecting that this would be the case and knowing it is the case felt like two different things. My thoughts instantly go to my many clients and friends on the gender spectrum, my heart hurts for all of us in the LGBTQIA community. I just didn’t know if I can bear the weight of the collective despair. I felt overwhelmed and stuck.

November 7, 2024, it’s time to organize. It’s time to look around my little corner of the world to try and figure out how I can DO something. In session, one of my clients remind me of the need for community, resource sharing and connection during these uncertain times. Today Under the Umbrella Gender Spectrum Support Group is born.

It’s taken some time to figure out the logistics and we are now ready to share this resource with all of you. Come and join us for our first monthly support group, taking place on December 10 at 6pm in SLO, hosted by myself (Dr. Sarah Park, she/her), Ellen Jones, LMFT (she/her), and community member Alexis Jacobs (she/her). This group is on a pay what you can basis with a suggested donation of $20 a group.

As an extra safety precaution I will ask that if you would like to attend you email me directly at sarahjoypark@gmail.com. I will share with you the group rules, location of the group and you will be added to our sign in sheet.

Let’s work together to build an even more robust gender spectrum community in SLO!

Dr. Hannah Roberts · September 26, 2024 ·

5 Ways to Combat

Homesickness and Loneliness in College

By Ellen M. Jones, M.A., LMFT, Thrive Therapist

“‘When you feel homesick,’ he said, ‘just look up.

Because the moon is the same wherever you go.'”

~Donna Tart

It’s time for another new school year! As you return from a summer at home, or as you take your first steps as a college student on your new campus, you might notice that things feel different than they did at home. There are exciting new experiences, people to meet, food to enjoy, and events to partake in, but sometimes amongst all the excitement, you might be missing home and feeling lonely. I remember my first year at Cal Poly, SLO when all of the fun from the Week of Welcome ended — I was feeling a little down and lost from missing my community back home. I had a roommate who was rarely in our room, something that I thought I would love, but ended up making me feel pretty lonely. I didn’t have a car to drive the 230+ miles home and visit and it just seemed like everyone else had more friends than I did. I was homesick.

Perhaps a little homesickness has crept into your excitement and with it, some feelings of anxiety and/or depression. Although mild homesickness is completely normal and part of the universal human experience, intense homesickness can be deeply distressing and debilitating (Thurber, 2012). As psychologist, John T. Cacioppo (2008), writes in Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, “When we are lonely, we not only react more intensely to the negatives; we also experience less of a soothing uplift from the positives.” In other words, when we are homesick and feeling alone, we are more likely to give into negative ways of thinking and less likely to allow ourselves to feel comfort. When we feel alone, life just gets a little more difficult.

What can I do to help combat my homesickness and loneliness?

Stay Connected with Your Friends and Family at Home

Just because your support system may be physically far away, does not mean that you have to be emotionally distant from them. Reaching out to your community for support during a challenging time is an important part of your mental health. Snap a photo of something that reminds you of a friend at home and send it to them, or give them a call when something exciting happens in your day. These are some of my favorite ways to stay connected with my loved ones from afar. No matter how far you are from home or how lonely you feel, don’t forget about the people at home because they want to hear from you — stay connected to your roots.

Create a New Routine for Yourself.

Along with utilizing your support system at home, it is important to focus on your day-to day in your new life and create a routine for yourself. As you start a new school year, this is the perfect time to focus on building healthy habits. Check out our recent blog articles about self-care and sleep quality for some pointers on what to be incorporating into your new routine. Focusing on what your day-to-day looks like can help you to stay present and engaged in the world you are curating around you. Being present with your current experience can be an important part of dealing with the homesickness.

Connect to Nature

Nature can also be an incredible source for feeling belonging and keeping loneliness away (especially the existential kind). In the 1960s, psychiatrist Harold Searles voiced this notion by stating that the natural world remains an integral part of the human psychological experience and to ignore this aspect is, “at peril to [our] psychological well-being” (Passmore, & Howell, 2014, p. 376). In a study conducted by psychologists within a shopping mall, natural elements were put into place and then removed to study a correlation between nature and sociability. In this study they found, “Even within built environments, brief exposure to natural elements has been shown to be conducive to improving social connections” (Passmore, & Howell, 2014, pg 378). So even if you’re engaging with Nature alone, you are spending time potentially in service of your social connections (along with the enjoyment of engaging with Nature itself). Nature is helpful at reminding us that when we are alone, it is always there for us. Check out our other blog post about the benefits of time in Nature.

Engage Socially & Build Community on Campus

Another important aspect for fighting off feelings of homesickness and loneliness in college is to get involved in campus life. Orient yourself to your new campus and get a good understanding of where the university services are located. It is important that you know where to go if you feel like you need help on campus. Along with this, check out the clubs and social gatherings happening all around you. Have you ever had an interest in learning to rock climb or throwing pottery or learning to basket weave? There’s probably a campus club for that. Do you identify as a POC, LGBTQIA+ or part of a marginalized community? There are safe spaces for belonging on campus. Connecting with like-minded individuals will help you to feel less lonely on campus. If you’re feeling shy, try introducing yourself to the person next to you in class or attending a club event as a spectator. If you’re feeling debilitating social anxiety, it might be time to talk with a professional.

Seek Professional Support

Talking to a professional therapist can be crucial if homesickness and loneliness in college is keeping you from reaching your full potential. While some of these difficult feelings are completely normal during such a big transition, if they feel debilitating or like they may be hindering you, it might be time to get some professional support. I have worked with many students and understand the intricacies of how loneliness, homesickness, social anxiety, and feelings of depression can show up in college. Schedule a session with me today and we can work together to find a deeper path to healing.

Along with the above tips, it is helpful to remember: you are not alone. Hopefully, reaching out for support from family, friends, and professionals can help you to remember this when your homesickness and loneliness in college begin to feel like a burden.

We hope you enjoyed this blog post. Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post.

References

Cacioppo, John T., et al. (2008). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. Tantor Media.

Passmore, H.-A., & Howell, A. J. (2014). Eco-existential positive psychology: Experiences in nature, existential anxieties, and well-being. The Humanistic Psychologist, 42(4), 370–388.

Thurber, Christopher A., and Edward A. Walton. (2012). “Homesickness and adjustment in university students.” Journal of American College Health 60(5) 415–419. https://doi.org/10.1080/07448481.2012.673520.

Dr. Hannah Roberts · March 14, 2024 ·

Creating a Safe Space for LGBTQ+ People in Therapy

“It takes no compromise to give people their rights…

it takes no money to respect the individual.

It takes no political deal to give people freedom.

It takes no survey to remove repression.”

~Harvey Milk

by Gavin Hannegan, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts

Therapy can be an incredibly rewarding experience, so it is important to create a comfortable environment for your clients. For LGBTQ+ folk, it is even more important. The therapist-client relationship can offer a safe space for LGBTQ+ individuals to be able to freely express themselves without judgment. But this community may feel overwhelmed trying to find a therapist that affirms them. You might explicitly state that you welcome people of all backgrounds, which is a great start, but how can you follow this statement up with action?

Here, we will be offering a few tips to help you better affirm your LGBTQ+ clients. As you read, keep in mind that the process of building that trust with your client may take time. Some clients may be more receptive to you than others. But with enough time, the relationship you build with your LGBTQ+ clients can become a valuable resource for that community.

Be Open to Learn

A common misconception is that to be an LGBTQ-affirming therapist, you have to also identify as a member of the LGBTQ community, but practicing empathy with your clients can help bridge any gaps. One theme that emerged in interviews with SLO County residents who attended therapy is that positive experiences with therapists occurred when the therapist were willing to learn more about LGBTQ identities, regardless of if the therapist identified as LGBTQ or not (Bettergarcia et al., 2021). You might ask your clients some questions about their identities to better understand your perspective. Here are some examples:

“Tell me more about this.”
“I’m not sure I fully understand where you’re coming from. Could you help me understand?”
“What makes you feel most affirmed?”

Allow your clients to educate you too. They should feel comfortable enough to correct you and explain how that made them feel. However, it is not their job to teach you everything about how to effectively work with the LGBTQ+ population; you may need to do some homework and develop your knowledge outside of the session.

Actively Validate Their Identities

An active effort with your LGBTQ+ clients is key. In their research, Anzani et al. (2019) distinguish between passive forms of affirmation towards trans people (i.e., not using microaggressions) and active forms of affirmation (i.e., encouraging gender exploration). While both forms can be helpful, Anzani et al. (2019) recommend that therapists strive to be actively affirming in order to help their clients navigate the cisnormativity that exists within society. Active validation looks like:

Connecting your clients to local groups and resources
Using your client’s correct name and pronouns before, during, and after transitioning
Treating your client’s identities as normal and authentic

In other words, an affirming therapist should do more than the bare minimum. The work that you do with the LGBTQ+ population can create positive change both in and out of a session. Take some time to reflect on how you approach LGBTQ+ issues with your clients. Do you simply acknowledge homophobia or transphobia or do you work with your clients to develop tactics to combat these prejudices?

Treat Your Clients as Individuals, Rather Than as Representatives of A Group

The ways in which one client experiences their identities might not be the same ways that other queer folk experience their identities. If you generalize these experiences by saying something like, “All gay people experience…,” then that could harm your connection with your clients. Remember that the label of LGBTQ+ encompasses many different identities. In one survey, mental health clinicians reported that even though they might be affirming of lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients equally, they actually perceive themselves to be more competent when treating lesbian and gay clients compared to bisexual clients (Ebersole et al., 2018). Each of these distinct identities can bring unique experiences–on top of the unique experiences that each individual already has! If you feel unfamiliar with some of the identities within the LGBTQ+ label, it may be best to do some research on your own time. You can also ask your clients for clarification, but do this sparingly. You might also need to adopt a multicultural approach and to consider the interplay of multiple identities. Keefe et al. (2023) found that racial and ethnic minorities who also identified as LGBQ responded best to mental health programs that emphasized the minority stress model, compared to those that did not implement this model. In other words, racial and ethnic minorities may be subject to discrimination based on race and discrimination based on LGBTQ+ status, so you should account for each of these influences when they apply.

One last note: a client’s reasons for attending therapy might not even be related to their gender or sexual identity. While you should not outright ignore their identities, it may not be necessary to always attribute certain topics to their gender identity or sexual orientation. These identities are just a few aspects of who someone is. Remember that this is your journey, and you deserve to feel respected and affirmed in the ways that feel most comfortable to you.

Feel like you want your clients to have more information? Here’s a blog post that features the same tips, but directed specifically towards potential clients seeking LGBTQ-affirming therapists.

Have more questions or feel like you need supportive therapy? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

References

Anzani, A., Morris, E. R., & Galupo, P. (2019). From absence of microaggressions to seeing authentic gender: Transgender clients’ experiences with microaffirmations in therapy. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 13(4), 258-275. https://doi.org/10.1080/15538605.2019.1662359

Bettergarcia, J., Wedell, E., Shrewsbury, A. M., & Thomson, B. R. (2021). “There’s a stopgap in the conversation”: LGBTQ+ mental health care and community connection in a semi-rural county. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, 26(1), 48-75. https://doi.org/10.1080/19359705.2021.1900973

Ebersole, R. C., Dillon, F. R., & Eklund, A. C. (2018). Mental health clinicians’ perceived competence for affirmative practice with bisexual clients in comparison to lesbian and gay clients. Journal of Bisexuality, 18(2), 127-144. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2018.1428711

Keefe, J. R., Rodriguez-Seijas, C., Jackson, S. D., Bränström R., Harkness, A., Safren, S. A., Hatzenbuehler, M. L., & Pachankis, J. E. (2023). Moderators of LGBQ-affirmative cognitive behavioral therapy: ESTEEM is especially effective among Black and Latino sexual minority men. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 91(3), 150-164. https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000799

Dr. Hannah Roberts · March 7, 2024 ·

Celebrating International Women’s Day

“Women, if the soul of the nation is to be saved,

I believe you must become its soul.”

-Coretta Scott King

by Gavin Hannegan, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts

March 8th is International Women’s Day, an opportunity to both celebrate the contributions of women and promote efforts towards gender equity. “Inspire Inclusion” is this year’s theme, encouraging us to think about how women are represented and, also, what kinds of women receive representation. Even within the LGBTQ+ community, women are often the silent heroes. Without that representation, it can feel difficult for queer women to easily access role models who can relate to what they’re experiencing. We cannot let their voices go unheard. To inspire inclusion, I want to recognize the achievements of 4 queer women.

Sylvia Rivera

“We have to do it because we can no longer stay invisible. We have to be visible. We should not be ashamed of who we are. We have to show the world that we are numerous. There are many of us out there.”

Alongside Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera was a founder of the Gay Liberation Front, which began following the Stonewall uprising in 1969. While some say that Rivera threw the first brick at Stonewall, others say that she may have thrown the first cocktail instead. And others still say that she may not have even been at Stonewall. Rivera and Johnson also co-founded Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR), which provided resources such as clothing to homeless queer and trans youth. Although she advocated for the rights of all LGBT people, Rivera fought specifically to ensure that the gay liberation movement would not ignore the rights of trans women and drag queens of color, like herself.

Stormé DeLarverie

“It was a rebellion, it was an uprising, it was a civil rights disobedience – it wasn’t no damn riot.”

Stormé DeLarverie was another key player at Stonewall. Similar to the rumors that Johnson or Rivera threw the first brick, some witnesses recalled that DeLarverie threw the first punch. DeLarverie is also believed to be the person who prompted all of the bystanders to fight back against the police after she was violently thrown in the back of a police wagon. This initial confrontation ignited the gay liberation movement. DeLarverie identified as a biracial butch lesbian who presented herself androgynously. Outside of her efforts with the gay liberation movement, she performed as a drag king for the Jewel Box Revue, which was the first racially integrated drag revue, and also worked as a bouncer for lesbian bars.

Rachel Levine

“I hope that by being a public figure and being secretary of health during this public health crisis, that that educates people about LGBTQ individuals and transgender individuals — and if they are educated, then they fear less. Thus, they get less angry, and thus, they hate less.”

As the current assistant secretary of health for the U.S., Rachel Levine holds a historic position. She is the highest ranking public official who openly identifies as transgender, the first transgender woman to ever hold a position requiring Senate confirmation, and is among the few transgender people currently holding an official government position. One of Levine’s main goals while in office is to make healthcare more approachable for LGBTQ+ youth, especially within the context of anti-LGBTQ+ laws that target gender-affirming care. Before being confirmed to the assistant secretary of health position, Levine served in the Pennsylvania Department of Health. In this role, some of her key contributions include increasing accessibility to naloxone in response to the opioid crisis and guiding Pennsylvania through the COVID-19 pandemic.

Ella Briggs

“A lot of kids don’t feel comfortable with who they are and that makes me really sad, because I just want everyone to be happy and be themselves. I like being myself.”

At just 11 years old, Ella Briggs was elected as Connecticut’s “Kid Governor,” and was the first openly LGBTQ+ individual to serve in this position. This program gives elementary school students an opportunity to practice and learn about the state government system, but their work can have lifelong impacts. Briggs’s Pride-Hope-Love campaign consisted of three components related to LGBTQ+ care: spread awareness of the LGBTQ+ homeless population, offer schools resources on how to start LGBTQ+ clubs, and foster affirming LGBTQ+ education and treatment in schools. In just one year, Briggs hosted webinars and conferences, developed a step-by-step guide to starting a Pride-Hope-Love club, and interviewed U.S. Senator Richard Blumenthal. Briggs aspires to become the first lesbian president of the United States.

Have more questions or feel like you need supportive therapy? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

References

CTKG Ella’s accomplishments and term highlights (n.d.). Connecticut’s Kid Governor. https://ct.kidgovernor.org/ctkgella/ctkgellahighlights

Fitzsimons, T. (2020, June 4). Pennsylvania’s top doc is ‘calm in the eye of the COVID-19 storm’. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/pennsylvania-s-top-doc-calm-eye-covid-19-storm-n1217171

LGBTQ+ women who made history (2021, June 3). Smithsonian American Women’s History Museum. https://womenshistory.si.edu/blog/lgbtq-women-who-made-history

McShane, J. (2021, June 1). Transgender federal official Rachel Levine tells LGBTQ youths: ‘I have your back’. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/transgender-federal-official-rachel-levine-tells-lgbtq-youths-i-have-n1268795

Rothberg, E. (2021, March). Sylvia Rivera. National Women’s History Museum. https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/sylvia-rivera

Wong, C. M. (2019, March 22). Meet the 11-year-old who wants to be America’s first lesbian president. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/connecticut-ella-briggs-kid-governor-lesbian-president_n_5c950965e4b0a6329e15f504

Yardley, W. (2014, May 24). Storme DeLarverie, early leader in the gay rights movement, dies at 93. New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/30/nyregion/storme-delarverie-early-leader-in-the-gay-rights-movement-dies-at-93.html?_r=0

Dr. Hannah Roberts · March 1, 2024 ·

Queer-Affirming Therapy:

Finding a Safe Space

“It is absolutely imperative that every human being’s

freedom and human rights are respected,

all over the world.”

– Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir

by Gavin Hannegan, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts

Therapy can be an incredibly rewarding experience, so it is important to find a therapist that you would feel comfortable with. For LGBTQ+ folk, it is even more important to find queer-affirming therapy. The therapist-client relationship can offer a safe space for you to be able to freely express yourself without judgment. The process of finding queer-affirming therapy can feel overwhelming. Some therapists explicitly state that they welcome people of all backgrounds, but other times, the cues can be a bit harder to read.

Here, I will be offering a few signs to look out for to help you determine if you would feel affirmed by your therapist. As you read, keep in mind that the process of building that trust with your therapist may take time. You might also respond differently to different therapists. There is no rush to feel comfortable right away!

Your Therapist Is Open to Learn

A common misconception is that an LGBTQ-affirming therapist has to also identify as LGBTQ, but there are plenty of straight or cisgendered therapists who can empathize with your experiences. One theme that emerged in interviews with SLO County residents who attended therapy is that positive experiences with therapists occurred when the therapist were willing to learn more about LGBTQ identities, regardless of if the therapist identified as LGBTQ or not (Bettergarcia et al., 2021). A therapist might ask you some questions about your identity to better understand your perspective. It is also okay for you to educate your therapist when the opportunity arises. Here are some examples:

“I actually go by this name, and I use these pronouns.”
“No, I haven’t really felt that way. I feel more like this…”
“That term is a little outdated, it’s more appropriate to say this…”

You are well within your right to correct your therapist and explain how that made you feel. However, it is not your job to teach your therapist everything about how to effectively work with the LGBTQ+ population; the therapist may need to do some homework and develop their knowledge outside of the session.

Your Therapist Actively Validates Your Identities

An active effort on the part of the therapist is key. In their research, Anzani et al. (2019)

distinguish between passive forms of affirmation towards trans people (i.e., not using microaggressions) and active forms of affirmation (i.e., encouraging gender exploration). While both forms can be helpful, Anzani et al. (2019) recommend that therapists strive to be actively affirming in order to help their clients navigate the cisnormativity that exists within society. Active validation looks like:

Your therapist connecting you to local groups and resources
Your therapist using the correct name and pronouns before, during, and after transitioning
Your therapist treating your identities as normal and authentic

In other words, an affirming therapist should do more than the bare minimum. When meeting with your therapist, you can ask them directly how they will actively validate your LGBTQ+ identities. If this feels too forward, you can also take note of how your therapist responds to LGBTQ+ issues. Do they simply acknowledge homophobia or transphobia or do they work with you to develop tactics to combat these prejudices?

Your Therapist Treats You As An Individual, Rather Than a Representative of Your Identity

The ways in which you experience your identities might not be the same ways that other queer folk experience their identities. If a therapist generalizes these experiences as representative of the broad LGBTQ+ community (i.e., “All gay people experience…”), then they might be missing some important details. For starters, the label of LGBTQ+ encompasses many different identities. In one survey, mental health clinicians reported that even though they might be affirming of lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients equally, they actually perceive themselves to be more competent when treating lesbian and gay clients compared to bisexual clients (Ebersole et al., 2018). Each of these distinct identities can bring unique experiences–on top of the unique experiences that each individual already has! Again, you are more than welcome to correct your therapist if they make a generalization, but don’t feel responsible for teaching your therapist about the diversity of LGBTQ+ identities. You might also encourage your therapist to adopt a multicultural approach and to consider the interplay of multiple identities. Keefe et al. (2023) found that racial and ethnic minorities who also identified as LGBQ responded best to mental health programs that emphasized the minority stress model, compared to those that did not implement this model. In other words, racial and ethnic minorities may be subject to discrimination based on race and discrimination based on LGBTQ+ status, so your therapist should account for each of these influences.

One last note: your reasons for attending therapy might not even be related to your gender or sexual identity. While affirming therapists should not outright ignore your identities, it may not be necessary for your therapist to always attribute certain topics to your gender identity or sexual orientation. These identities are just a few aspects of who you are. Remember that this is your journey, and you deserve to feel respected and affirmed in the ways that feel most comfortable to you.

Feel like you want your therapist to have more information? Here’s a blog post that features the same tips, but directed specifically towards those in the helping profession.

Have more questions or feel like you need queer-affirming therapy? Schedule a session with one of our therapists today! You can schedule online here!

We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post!

References